I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
