Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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