i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
