i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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