All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
