I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
