Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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