About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
