are you so shy because you have an std?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
