So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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