Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
