Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize