By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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