the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
