Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
