i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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