I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
