it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
