I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
