Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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