If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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