Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
