I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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