it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
