i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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