Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
