i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Never joke about your clitoris.
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