6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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