and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
