it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
