Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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