You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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