the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
