I can't watch pbs sober anymore
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
