4 words: hood of his car
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
