Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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