I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
