And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
