dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
