If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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