I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize