you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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