I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
