Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
