god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
where are you?
Hypothermia
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
