My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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