have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
