I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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