I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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