His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
