if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
