Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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