the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
