Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
