Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
