I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We need to rekindle our bromance
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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