ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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