These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
