dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I wear drunk well.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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