ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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